It’s a question I ask myself quite often. And its something that I used to think of as an invaluable question to be asking consistently. Event to the point that the mere asking struck me like lightning, pinning my hands and feet to the floor, leaving my mind burnt out and heart unfufilled.

Currently Im sitting on my fellow wizard Andrew’s living room carpet with a brand new laptop heating my thighs. The Arizona sun is cool today, defused by the lingering clouds. Distant cousins of the tornado that touched ground two days prior…and here I am talking about the weather.

My chosen profession is a self proclaimed artist, deeply passionate about reiki, music, and movement. My bed is on wheels and doubles as a garage that my one man band rocks out it. Its a dream life. A dream I dreamed.

What I’m doing here is taking inventory of all things, without filters. Im attempting to wipe my own memory here and hit myself with a FULL audit. with the intention of honoring all the choices and results that have been rendered thus far.

There are a handful of things primed to pop off.

My artist name has finally arrived, COCOBONES. I couldn’t be more thrilled or ready to receive it.

My beloved and I made the decision to let go of each other in a good way, with true compassion and a transformative perspective

My first true single and ep and album are on their way

Several sages are knocking at my door requesting my services

Sacred sons, the mens work I have never spoken about on this platform is taking off and is actively calling me into more travels. I’m currently in Phoenix because of a retreat we will be hosting over the weekend.

This new computer Im typing on opens up quite a few doors in terms of what I can create and share. Which I am incredibly excited about.

The world of online courses, and group video calls has reclaimed the lucratively it once held back in my MLM days.

IG game strong

My vanlife days are really just starting to build potentially explosive momentum

…theres a lot the be grateful for here

2020 is just around the corner, and when I honestly ask the question, “what am I doing” I find that how I’m being, matters so much more to me now. Manifesting my dream life has been such a powerful experience and now that this new chapter is upon me, this reflection makes it crystal clear that I am exactly where Im supposed to be. I am exactly who I am supposed to be.

and…whats nest?

I know my purpose, I have a sense of direction, and most importantly, I am listening, deeply.

What feels good is that this life is not something I saw somewhere and wanted to have. Despite having role models (mostly fictional characters) I knew this was going to be how I would live. So whatever comes next, I know I got that too.

College almost got me.

but once I got away, I knew there was no going back.

I had chosen the red road.

And even in saying that. I acknowledge that there will be more blood down the road, just as there is where I come from.

But death is no longer my enemy. Darnkess no longer my antagonist.

They have become the sages at my council.

We all have the power to rewrite reality in a good way.

Choosing what to write, is not nearly as impactful as how I choose to write.

If it brings me joy and peace, so be it.

chaos and rage are a part of me as well, so be it

And so the fully embodied Marco is still quite a mystery to me. And I’ve been unraveling ever since my first reiki session. With social media Ive made content with the hopes of inspiring people to step into their presence.

of course, I haven’t been fully transparent. How could I be? Theres so much about myself that I don’t even know I don’t know…And so at one point in time these blogs were my check ins. put online for all to see. But not for me to been seen. Just for me to write as medicine, and to share, as one human to another. just fucking, in it, like you.

I have lots of questions that parallel the feeling that “what am I doing” arouses.

But I could probably make those a whole post on their own.

OK, until next time. ciao.

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